My Life...Right Now. (Story Time)

  The shore is the safest place to stay, they say.   But sometimes we venture out into the deep.   We realize when it’s too late that we can’t touch the bottom, we can’t swim, or we’re swimming with the sharks.   It’s the space in between the two shores that we find out who we are.   The space in between a girl and a woman. The space in between a marriage and divorce. The space in between having babies and an empty nest. The space in between the shallow and the deep. We’ll never lose our fear if we don’t let go of the side and swim.   Some say freedom is out there waiting past our comfort zone.   But what they don’t know is… The space in between will pull you under.   The space in between makes you grow too fast from a girl to a woman. The space in between rushes you from marriage to divorce. The space in between devours the precious hours with your children until you’re all alone.   At a glance we think we can swim – but ...

  I’ve been completely off Facebook for many reasons, the main one being the hatefulness that it has succumbed to. I reinstalled the app to figure out if we needed to boil our water during our winter storm, here in Texas. Nothing new for the most part on Facebook, people blaming either side of the aisle (because we’ve narrowed our choices down to two then you must choose a side and curse the other) in politics, people blaming everyone under the sun for the works of Mother Nature (damn, M.N. you’ve even lost your voice), and of course people mostly finding out that they can, for the most part, survive without electricity (in a Winter Storm), but not wifi/cable! FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS! *Stepping off soapbox* Then, I started seeing pictures of families and their sweet children. People I haven’t seen in so long. Things I do miss. You know, the human connection…what we’re built for (you know, unity not division). Seems to defeat the purpose of using a virtual ...

  We weren’t prepared. We were just not prepared. Had we known that this may have been the outcome, we would have prepared more for it. We were not ready for this sort of catastrophe. I’ve heard similar words ring out so many times in the last year, I think that it has become the motto of life. Not being prepared. Who is? We weren’t prepared for the devastation of Covid 19, the deaths, the sick, the deaths just by proxy. My mother was one of them. Stay in your house, we told her. She succumbed to pneumonia. My fear was her dying of a blood clot from lack of exercise. But in the end, her lungs couldn’t withstand it. When the doctor had told her less than a year before that she had Pulmonary Fibrosis, she never assumed she wouldn’t make it to the following summer. None of us were prepared. How could we prepare? We didn’t, we grieved, we struggled, we walked through it and dealt with it because that’s all we could do. We adapted. Winter Storm 2021. An estimated 3.2 mil...

My heart and soul these two are.  For all the sacrifices I have endured, the mistakes I have made, and even the better path I have chosen; I would do every single one of them over again to have my babies...and to be the woman I am today. I Would..... Be a misunderstood child. Let pain that was not my own get the best of me. Be a misfit. Be wild and free. Be too serious. Think that I could save someone from themselves. Lay down and let someone walk all over me. Stand up and take no more. Be your best friend. Be your worst enemy. Love you. Hate you. Love myself. Hate myself. Take the high road. Settle for the road less traveled. Let you in. Shut you out. Say I would never leave. Always run away. Fall down. Stand back up. Get mad when you spoke the truth. Accept the truth in order to learn and grow as a person. Feel worthless. Find my worth. Waste precious time. Learn to value my time. Cry when no one is looking. Cuss when it isn't even as b...